Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
