oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
