her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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