i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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