"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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