He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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