So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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