i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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