why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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