Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
