I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
