I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
