I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
