she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
