I want to stick my p in your. b.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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