see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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