I am in a vortex of obligation.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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