Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
