I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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