Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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