you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
