i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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