I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
