It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
