You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
