first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
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Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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