from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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