My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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