sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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