Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
