I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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