Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
