you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize