the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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