I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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