ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
