i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
