hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
