Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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