You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She told me I should be a condom model.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
