i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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