my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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