All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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