i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
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Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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