i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
