FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
