I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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