if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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