I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
