he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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