just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
