last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
whose parrot is this?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize