He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
