Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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